I feel sorry for her.. she only has her friends, but that’s not enough for her, i can tell, just by the way she looks down at herself, low self esteem, low confidence, always telling her self and other people that she is fat and ugly, & in this small town, we start to believe her. So she knows that no one likes her or that no one will ‘date’ her, so she just goes after sex, and one night stands, because that’s the only love she believes that she will feel from a man. There was a basketball team from out of town, and she wanted them to come to her house, that same night she was trying to get with someone else but he already liked someone else, and he told her that, so she wanted the basketball boys to come to her house even more, she needed love, that night. A feeling of re assurance that she has a purpose here, I wish i could help her, or someone could. Anyone, make her believe that she doesn’t need that. She doesn’t need pleasure from a man or love from one. She thinks her friends aren’t enough, but really she doesn’t see how much they love her. I know all this, because, I feel the same way as her.
Even though I have my friends, I still crave that feeling that no friend can give. That feeling, that you are special, that you are better than everyone else in that very moment, how ever long it is. The way they look at you, they want you, it gives you butterflies, having them stare at you, like you’re the most beautiful thing, knowing that a single look can make them flip, but that’s all I need, is that feeling. I don’t need to go farther than that, no whoring, no sex. I’m an attention whore.